Where is your "home"
I'm in the process of reading a book by Erwin Mcmanus called Soul Cravings". I made this comment on his website about an idea in one of his chapter/ entries:"I just finished Entry 8 on “Love Lost and Abandonment” and I must say the idea of “home” being found in our relationshipes really hit home to me (no pun intended lol). I think there’s incredible truth to that idea. For me, my sense of “home” the last few years has been found in the Young Adults group that I led, and in the pastoral team we had at our church in Vernon BC. In the last year numerous things have come to disrupt those things in my life, and I couldn’t quite nail why it was that I was feeling “lost” being the only staff member to remain, while everyone else was gone, and seeing young adults leave for college, and being the one still at home. I guess I’ve realized that I was finding my sense of home in those relationships, and without those - the sense of loss/ lostness (if that’s a word) was quite great. I’m not to sure how to resolve this yet, but I just wanted to say that this Entry made me realize in part what I’ve been going through this past year. So thank you for that!"
If we find our sense of "home" through our relationships, maybe that's why some people find it easier to move around. Their relationships aren't geographically based, as I think has been the way things have been in the past. So location doesn't necessarily equal "home". It's a interesting thought for me.
EDIT: Here's a good quote from Erwin's book "Home is ultimatly not about a place to live but about the people with whom you are most fully alive. Home is about love, relationship, community, and belonging, and we are all searching for home."
posted by Jesse @ 12:53 p.m.
14 Comments:
Hey Jesse - this is an excellent post! The best post I've read in a long time in the world of blogsphere. It really hit home with me; I guess it is something I've come to know with the amazing relationships that I have but never really was able to articulate it like this. Very interesting.
I am going to have to work through this thought and its relation to young adult ministry: "If we find our sense of "home" through our relationships, maybe that's why some people find it easier to move around. Their relationships aren't geographically based, as I think has been the way things have been in the past. So location doesn't necessarily equal "home". It's a interesting thought for me."
Good stuff.
-Jer
Jesse
You have defined very well a thought process that I have never been able to articuate. You da man!!!
Hey Jesse...I've wondered how 'home' in Vernon's become for you with all the deconstruction or 'normal' life this past year or so...interesting thoughts.
I find that geography and relationships are equally important in my personal vision of what is 'home'. Land is extremely important to me (maybe cuz I'm a mennonite!) and anytime I come across a landscape that mimics that of rural Manitoba or Vernon where I grew up, I find myself at peace, or at home. This has been true of southern Russia, southern Spain, Fes (Morocco), Starkville, MS, and wine country in California...and my relationships have flourished in these places where I feel most myself, most at peace. Intersting how that happens hey!
Thanks so much guys!
I think the first inkling I had of this concept when when Darrin Rebecca and I, as skypilot, visited you Mark, in Winnipeg. There you mentioned how you were continuing to counsel, or being involved, with youth in Smithers through msn. Your geographic place didn't mean that you weren't able to communicate, and meanifully interact with people a long distance away.
The only problem I see, if that some take this to an extreme, and don't make any meaniful relationships with those around them, since all their interaction is "online", and I don't think any of us would see that as healthy.
For me, this concept of home being found in relationships stemmed out of feeling "not at home" even though I hadn't gone anywhere! It seems obvious that location doesn't always equal home (hence the saying: home is where the heart is) and yet the reality of that didn't really hit till I read that chapter.
Wow Jaime, that is interesting!
I think it's amazing how you're able to cultivate relationships with people wherever you are at (in a seeminly short amount of time). I think that's a God given gift that will be a huge help as you continue to travel, and work around the globe!
Geography and relationships ... I suppose the two of them together creates my greatest sense of "home". If I can be in a place with strong relationships, and that geographically is like the Bulkey Valley - that would be a powerful combination for me.
We had a pretty lively discussion about this just now at Ethical Addictions. One of the things that we had thought that maybe one of the main reasons that young adults are so prone to "wander" is that they never really do build home-like relationships....so...it is much easier for them to have no geographical place because there is nothing calling them to it.
I think that makes a lot of sense. Our greatest time of having young adults involved in the life of APC, and the young adults group, was when the relationships with each other were strong. Once those relationships lessened, those young adults were less likely to be involved in either the group or the church.
IF The real value of any ministry is not the programs themselves but its ability to foster 'sticky' relationships then where does that leave you as a leader trying to help people understand this metric in a world that is driven by so many other metrics?
Catch my drift?
I think people, at least people I know, inherently know, live, and operate by this metric (the metric that real friends are more important then programs).
My experience has been that there are not alot of people who are more likely going to hangout with their program of choice when they can hang out with their friend of choice.
I do think that many people do get sidetracked by evaluating life by other metrics (work sucess, money, used condom wrappers, grades, etc.) but eventually come back to the questions of "Why am I so lonely?" or "Who am I close with?" etc.
Thoughts?
You can have an incredible program, and yet some people will not come if their friends aren't coming. I think that's a very telling sign of what people (youth especially) are valuing. They're not particularily enamoured by a program that they're experiencing alone.
Perhaps "going to the movies" is one of those examples. I know countless people will refuse to go to the theatre alone, where for me it's no big deal. Watching a movie is quite solitary and un-interactive, and yet many people do not want to do this alone.
One of Kyle's goals (as the interim youth pastor this past year) was to get to the place where the youth would attend an event no matter what the event was, because the youth, as a group, would be there. It was moving to making events "cool" enough that it would draw them - to creating a group that could have fun in any situation, no matter if the event was dumb. The point was being together.
Home...ahhh. Could there be a better description of what our hearts cry for?
Jesse... you are so right...and nothing could be more cross cultural, cross generational, or just more real then the desire to love and be loved.
Give me a cup of java...a group of friends and some chocolate and we have the makings of the best night of the week. I don't care what we do...
Great post Jess!
In regard to YA ministry, I've always wondered - people seem to want what the charachters had on the TV show "Friends" (dated example), but they don't know what it is, if it's real, or how to get it.
I think you nailed it. It's "home".
Jesse. I AM Entry #8... quite literally. I am McCall. That's MY story. And I must tell you, since Erwin has been using my tale of transformation and salvation, I have been under some serious attack (or whatever we Christians call it). It has felt like my world has done a skydive. Anyway, my point in writing it to let you know... just as I was shaking my fist at God for all my troubles, I stumbled upon your comment on the Soul Cravings page. And I melted. I figured, if my story impact5s others for the GOOD... then why wouldn't I be willing to endure some hardship for it. Well I AM willing. And now I even feel thankful.
Thank YOU for mentioning my entry specifically and making the struggles all feel so worth it.
McCall, thanks for sharing! I pray things turn around for you.
For me, I'm so glad 2006 is over. It had some good moments, but I'd rather leave behind all the painful moments for now and believe this next year is going to be fantastic!
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